Anyone who has ever given birth can attest that the grueling transformation that takes place during pregnancy, birth and the postpartum is undeniably one of the biggest, most intense experiences of their lives. But so many clients ask, "What is labor like? What does it feel like?" As someone who has given birth four times, how do I adequately explain it? What can I compare to the sensations of opening and releasing, of expansion and contraction? How do I describe the feeling of being overwhelmed while being in control, the idea of working alone while surrounded by a circle of supporters? Birth is just like a marathon I adopted this description a couple of years ago after realizing how many similarities birth and marathons have in common. I only loved this comparison more when a University of Michigan study came out this year that declared that giving birth can actually be harder than running a marathon. But what does running a marathon and giving birth really have in common (especially for those of us who aren't exactly, ahem, running types)? Discovering what actual marathon runners have to say about running and applying their wisdom to birth was quite enlightening. The Desire "You should run your first marathon for the right reasons, because you'll never be the same person again. You must want to do it, not do it because your boss did it or your spouse did it." - Bill Wenmark, running coach There is no way you could catch me running a marathon because I WANT to. In fact, I absolutely DO NOT want to run a marathon. Ever. COULD I run a marathon? I have no doubt I could--but it would not be my most glorious memory ever. In a lot of ways, birth is dependent on personal desire. Not just IF you want to do it (cuz you kinda have to if you've got a bun in the oven) but how you want to go about doing it. Now let me be clear--we aren't just talking about natural birth, although personal desire is the number one motivating factor in having an intentional natural birth. But you cannot go into birth expecting to do it a certain way just because someone you know did it, or you perceive it to be the way you should do it, or the way someone else wants you to do it. One big difference between a marathon and birth is this: there are no winners or losers, no failure, no shortcoming in birth. But finding the best way for you to run your marathon the way you want to will drive you to finish the act of giving birth when the going gets tough--which it almost certainly will. The Mentality "I've learned that finishing a marathon isn't just an athletic achievement. It's a state of mind; a state of mind that says anything is possible." - John Hanc, running writer Ever seen the episode of How I Met Your Mother when Marshall is training for the New York Marathon? He reads all these running books, and one of the things he learns to do is to repeat positive affirmations to himself (in the mirror) on a daily basis. Well guess who else can benefit from doing this?? Pregnant women! Part of my work as a childbirth educator is to help eliminate the culture of fear surrounding birth; to help women build their sense of strength and confidence in their ability to birth their babies however they choose. This involves not only creating a positive state of mind regarding birth, but also eliminating negative voices implying failure, fear, or harm. Is a marathon a scary event to be avoided?? No! (Well, for me it might be.) The Preparation "Virtually everyone who tries the marathon has put in training over months, and it is that exercise and that commitment, physical and mental, that gives meaning to the medal, not just the day’s effort, be it fast or slow." - Mary R. Wittenberg, former president, New York Road Runners Club Who can literally jump off their couch and run a marathon without any physical preparation? The answer: no one (except for Barney, if you watch that marathon episode of How I Met Your Mother). Just like a marathon, birth requires physical preparation. Pregnant women should be exercising no less than they were prior to pregnancy, which involves a minimum of 30 minutes of exercise three times a week. And just like a runner prepares for a marathon, a pregnant woman should prepare for labor by eating lots and lots of protein (the body needs long-lasting fuel that will build the growing muscle mass in her and her baby's body) in the months leading up to labor--aiming for 100 grams a day. And then, just like the night before a big run, she should switch to carb loading during labor--carbohydrates will provide fast, short bursts of easy-to-use fuel which is exactly what the body needs during intense physical exercise! The Pace "I tell our runners to divide the race into thirds. Run the first part with your head, the middle part with your personality, and the last part with your heart." - Mike Fanelli, running club coach Funny, isn't it, that labor is broken into thirds too--early labor, where there's plenty of time to think and be aware, active labor, that requires more concentration, and transition that involves a total surrender to the process. "If you feel bad at 10 miles, you're in trouble. If you feel bad at 20 miles, you're normal. If you don't feel bad at 26 miles, you're abnormal," Rob de Castella, the winner of the 1983 World Marathon Championships said. Huh. Sounds about right. One of the most common mantras we use during birth is to take one contraction at a time--don't think about how many you have left or how long this could last. Do the one you have to do right now. How interesting that Ryan Hall, a U.S. Olympic marathoner thinks the same thing about running a marathon: "I don't think about the miles that are coming down the road, I don't think about the mile I'm on right now, I don't think about the miles I've already covered. I think about what I'm doing right now, just being lost in the moment." The Pain is Productive "At mile 20, I thought I was dead. At mile 22, I wished I was dead. At mile 24, I knew I was dead. At mile 26.2, I realized I had become too tough to kill." - Unknown I couldn't tell you the number of times a mom has looked at me and said, "This hurts so bad I just don't think I can do this anymore!" There are only two things (that I can think of!) that are painful but NOT inherently harmful to our bodies: birth and exercise. Just like working out, birth is creating a change in muscular structures that have to exert significant effort to create that change. In fact, the pain of labor is credited in large part to the emission of lactic acid--the chemical that builds up in the muscles when they are tightened and released over and over. Ever been super sore the day after working out? Yup--just like labor, the pain comes from the lactic acid build up in the muscles. And just like a marathon runner experiences the oxytocin and endorphin high of running across that finish line, the incredible feeling of relief after giving birth is what makes people do it again! The High
"The thirst you feel in your throat and lungs will be gone minutes after the race is over. The pain in your legs within days, but the glory of your finish will last forever." - Unknown "There isn't a trophy for giving birth!" Um, excuse me?? I have heard this statement specifically made about natural childbirth ("there's no special reward for giving birth naturally!") but I beg to differ. First, it's much more complex than getting a reward if you go without meds, and no reward if you don't--remember when I said there is no failure or losing in childbirth?? That must mean that EVERYBODY wins!! At the end of birth, you have just accomplished an incredible feat of nature, no matter how you go about accomplishing it. And the relief you get from finally being DONE after the long months of building a baby, and finally having your baby in your arms and out of your body is your trophy. Plus, the nice rush of endorphin-producing oxytocin you get is pretty awesome too. Although with that relief is often a convincing declaration, "I'm NEVER doing this again!" (Even though you'll gradually forget the pain, and your ovaries will start to quiver every time you see a baby.) After winning her first New York Marathon Grete Waltz declared, "I'm never going to run this again." And then she went on to run and win eight more. So the bottom line is...if you are giving birth, you are basically an extreme athlete, no matter how you go about it. And just like any other athlete, you need a coach! And luckily, that's what we are here for. We're the ones who will get you a cool washcloth to wipe the sweat off your face, we are your water stop, the ones reminding you that you can do it from the sidelines, the team car rolling along next to you in case you need more help. Please let us know if there is any way we can help support you as you train, prepare for, and run your birth marathon!
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As early as I can remember, my grandmother always said, “it takes a village to raise a child.” Although she usually repeated this proverb to comment on the Jones baby’s outbursts at church on Sunday or to justify disciplining children at the local supermarket, this proverb took on a whole new meaning when I joined the Belly to Cradle team. Today I feel compelled to share some facts that make The Belly to Cradle Team unique in the world of birth care. #1: Diversity of Caregivers Talk about a village! At Belly to Cradle, you can personally choose the caregiver that best meets your desires and needs as a client. With four professional doulas and two board certified lactation consultants all with different backgrounds, personalities, life experiences, certifications, service fees, and all living in different geographic areas within the Greater Pensacola, FL, to Mobile, AL, you the client are more likely to find a caregiver that perfectly suits you and your family’s needs. #2: Continuity of Care When you hire Belly to Cradle, you’re not just hiring your individual birth doula or lactation consultant, you’re actually hiring a whole network--a whole force of knowledgeable, caring, professional women! Because we are a group of women in business together, we as a group are accountable to not only all of our clients but to each other. If due to some disaster or unforeseen circumstance your individual doula or consultant cannot make your appointment or birth, another Belly to Cradle caregiver will be on the way and will be able to seamlessly fill-in at no additional cost. Talk about great insurance! Even more wonderful, is your ability as a mother and a parent to enjoy continuity of care with a business that you trust. Maybe you begin your Belly to Cradle journey by hiring a doula for your first birth and afterwards hire one of our lactation consultants to help your baby establish a better latch. Or maybe you needed some breastfeeding help from a lactation consultant and through your positive experience with Belly to Cradle decide you want to hire a doula for your second birth--however you choose to utilize our care, we are a "one-stop-shop" of caring, collaborative birth professionals. #3: In-Home Care! Going back to the grandma chronicles again; I always remember that dear old woman muttering under her breath about having to get all ‘dolled up’ to go see her various caregivers for appointments. “I remember in the good old days when people used to come to you,” she’d declare. At Belly to Cradle, just like grandma says, ‘we come to you!’ Don’t worry about the 3 day old breast milk sitting on the kitchen counter, laundry in piles on the couch, your toddler’s half consumed juice pouch stuck between the crevices of your couch. We’ve all been there…done that. Don’t stress! You just stay in your yoga pants and an old t-shirt and let us take care of the rest. #4: Invaluable Connections and Local Resources Belly to Cradle has been serving the greater Pensacola, FL area since 2011 and we have worked very hard to build and maintain a strong, professional reputation within the medical and birth communities in the local area. As our client, you will have access to countless resources during and after your pregnancy to chiropractors, photographers, midwives, massage therapists, many of which Belly to Cradle has a close, established working relationship with. In addition, depending on the additional service that you need, you may qualify for a discount of 10-20% off services with some of Belly to Cradle’s preferred business partners listed on our website. #5: Alternative Payment Options We understand that having a baby is expensive--and the thought of spending more than you absolutely need to for the cost of your care can be overwhelming. So, we offer various different payment methods and rates. Aside from offering a military discount to clients, our Gift Registry allows loved ones and friends to give you the invaluable gift of pregnancy, labor, and postpartum support by gifting contributions toward your balance with us. We also are willing to put your doula care payments on ‘layaway’ if you are not able to pay in full for services. We will work with your unique financial situation and will keep an account of payments made via our convenient and easy Payment Portal. While we can't currently take insurance payments, we ARE approved to accept HSA and FSA cards as payment for any service that we provide. Now that’s something to get excited about! #6: The Belly to Cradle Family
At Belly to Cradle our relationship with you and your family does not end after your final prenatal appointment with your doula or your last house visit from your lactation consultant. We stay in touch and will get you in touch with other local Belly to Cradle moms and families through Facebook groups, local events, and Belly to Cradle hosted mommy- baby get-togethers. You will be part of our Belly to Cradle Family. Birth is transformative. Ordinary women blossom into mothers, ordinary men become fathers…and the family takes root. Whether this is your first birth or your tenth, the process is messy, chaotic, unpredictable, but yet so incredibly beautiful. And we, the women of Belly to Cradle, LLC can’t wait to squat, push, and latch with you on the road to a happy, healthy birth and family experience! To prepare for Sebastian’s birth I practiced Hypnobabies homestudy course from about 26 weeks until he was born. The terminology in this story is a little different with “waves” being used in place of “contractions”. Because my first baby was a 42 week induction, as my due date neared I started “natural” techniques to try to jumpstart labor, and I was happy to hear at my office visits that I was having cervical changes that I had never had with the previous pregnancy. My due date however came and went without a baby so I started doing even more home induction techniques to try to get things going. On the 20th I did a few minutes of nipple stimulation which set up regular painless pressure waves that continued every 3-5 minutes throughout the day. I went and had my first ever acupuncture visit and went home truly expecting to have my baby in my arms before midnight. The waves continued to come regularly for about half the night and then unfortunately fizzled out. The next morning my husband accompanied me to my 41 week pre-natal appointment where it was discovered that my blood pressure was elevated quite a bit and because of that, in addition to my very favorable cervix (dilated to a 4 and 70%) (and my insistence that I was OVER being pregnant) my midwife agreed to an induction that day. The induction was by nipple stimulation which worked really well to start regular pressure waves every 3-5 minutes, however I had to keep the stimulation up or they would peter out. After 4 or 5 hours of this, my midwife checked me and found that I was 5cm and 80% so she gave me the choice of continuing as we were doing or she could break my water. I chose to have the water broken. There was heavy meconium in the fluid which made me really upset and I was trembling uncontrollably, but Amber used one of my Hypnobabies cues to help me calm down. After my water was broken, I still needed to either be up and walking around or doing nipple stimulation to keep the waves coming steadily, but they were apparently growing in intensity. I was still very comfortable, no pain, just tightness of my abdomen during the pressure waves. I labored in the bathtub for a while, but really didn’t find this to be that relaxing, so I chose to do most of the rest of my later labor sitting in bed. At some point I was checked again and found to be at a 9. I was so excited because I was about to meet my baby! The midwife left me to labor for a while longer, checking back periodically to ask if I felt “pushy” or “different” and the answer was always “no”. After several hours of this, she asked if she could check my progress and said I was still dilated to a 9 and she felt that the baby was a little tilted and therefore was not making the progress we wanted. She recommended I labor on my side for a little bit. This I found to be really painful for my pelvis (I had symphysis pubis pain my entire pregnancy) so we switched to laboring on the birth ball for a little while. It was while on the birth ball I started to actually experience pain with my contractions because I couldn’t really use my hypnobabies relaxation tools in that position. I don’t know how long I stayed on the birth ball, but I eventually said I had to move and we went back to the bed.
Even though I was still dilated to a 9 and not feeling the urge to push, the mid-wife suggested she would like me to try a practice push. I did, and suddenly there was a flurry in the room because baby started to crown with that push! I then REALLY had the urge to push and after two more totally involuntary pushes Sebastian was born! He was placed on my abdomen because his cord was very short. After a few minutes my husband cut the cord and they brought baby to my chest. We had 10-15 minutes of skin to skin time while the placenta was delivered and a few stitches were put in (the same area I tore the first birth re-opened). It was a beautiful and peaceful birth. Probably one of the the most common question we get from clients and see on mommy group threads is "What should I pack in my hospital bag?" So we decided we would not only poll our own clients to find out what their favorite must-haves were, but we also decided to share our very own recommendations via the printable PDF checklist we usually only share with clients! (It's at the end of this post.) The Hygenic Stuff. Believe it or not, Depends (yes, the adult incontinence garments) are top on the list of labor and postpartum must-haves. Of course, don't forget the other stuff--like your own soap, shampoo, grooming tools (do NOT forget your brush and hair ties!) and maybe a touch of makeup to make you feel human, but our clients LOVE Depends--specifically the Silhouettes brand which come in black, nude, and even purple. They are discreet, don't leak, and can just be tossed after use, reducing the amount of dirty laundry you have to take home with you! They also don't bunch up or press on the sensitive lady parts like pads do. (When Amber saw them at a recent birth she *almost* swore off underwear all together in favor of these things). Another top must-have is chapstick. "I remember my lips being so dry when I was breathing through contractions," our client Melissa says, so maybe toss a few tubes in your bag. The Electronic Stuff. In the Information Age, electronics are now a necessity, especially at a time like the birth of your child. After all, your family might die of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) without your labor Snapchats, and you might want to Facebook Live yourself dancing in labor in an effort to go viral. And you HAVE to have a camera to take a TON of pictures, right? "My laptop was gold," Anna says. "We used it to watch movies and shows in early labor to keep us distracted." Also, a Bluetooth speaker is a great way to play your labor playlist. But don't forget all the requisite chargers for all your separate electronic items. Loryn suggests bringing a LONG charger cord or cordless charger in case the hospital outlets aren't conveniently located. "I never had a cord long enough to reach my bed in the middle of the night when I was nursing and needed my phone," she remembers. The Environmental Stuff. If you've hired a doula, it's likely she will help you set up your labor space with lighting and music, but you can take that same labor vibe into your postpartum room using things like ambient lights and fans. "Take a small lamp," Chelsey recommends, "so you don't have to turn on the overhead light for middle of the night changes, and it's just more relaxing in the evening." Anyone who has birthed with us knows our absolute favorite must-have is a strand of white Christmas lights. "We brought [a strand of] lights and after delivery we put them up in the recovery room," Lauren says. "It was glorious and kept the room cozy and calm." We love strands of lights because they add just enough light to the room at night to see what you're doing without disrupting sleep. We recommend a 20-35 bulb strand so it doesn't get too bright--Hobby Lobby & Walmart both carry them in the wedding section. Consider getting a strand for the room and one for the bathroom to keep the lighting dim and constant. This is SO important during birth and postpartum since bright lighting can disrupt the production of melatonin which contributes to the production of oxytocin, a hormone essential for labor, birth, and breastfeeding. Also, the hormones associated with labor and birth can make your body temperature during labor and postpartum shift from hot to cold at a moments' notice, and you may have little or no control over the room temperature, so a small clip-on or table top fan that you can easily move wherever you do is also a must-have. The Clothing. It's totally easy to over pack on the clothing front. Our recommendation is to keep it simple and pack a few really comfortable, loose, easy-to-layer clothing items that are also easy to put on and take off. You may still have quite the baby bump even post-baby so don't pack anything that you are even slightly doubtful you will fit into. For labor, consider that you may be dealing with the cords involved with an IV, epidural, and monitors, so you may need to pack even less if you choose to use the hospital gown. There are plenty of options for buying your own, prettier, labor gown (like Pretty Pushers, which are sold locally by ShoMe Prenatal Imaging, or the ones carried by Latched Mama), but some moms may want to save those to change into after the birth so they don't get icky and messy during the birth process. Loryn says that she brought her own lightweight robe. "It made nursing super easy and it was quick to close when visitors came by. It also made those 15-minute-long bathroom visits easy to manage." Don't forget to pack clothing for your partner and the baby, but once again, keep it simple--two or three changes of clothing are usually enough. You aren't packing for a week-long cruise to the Bahamas, after all (although I am sure all moms everywhere wish this were the case). The Linens. It's so nice to use the hospital linens during the birth process, not only because you may go through fourteen sheets and sixty-five towels in between trips back and forth from the bathtub to the bed, but also because (like the hospital gown) you just don't have to worry about all those bodily fluids ruining your favorite pillow or blanket. BUT sometimes, a familiar bedding item can really help increase your oxytocin levels (sensory input is also a necessary part of labor efficiency) and just make your room more comfy. For labor, we suggest one or two favorite bedding items that you wouldn't be distraught over if they got doused in amniotic fluid. But for postpartum, bringing your own pillow, blanket, and towel can be really helpful. "Those hospital towels = sandpaper and doll-sized," Anna comments. The Stuff You DON'T Need to Bring. While this list might seem sort of long, and even exhaustive (after we said to keep it simple!) there are actually things you really DON'T need to bring to the hospital. It's always a good idea to check ahead of time with your birth place to avoid making assumptions, but in our experience, hospitals usually provide:
I was due June 14, 2017, bur Conner Oakley Smith was following in his big brother's footsteps by making himself comfortable and staying in mommy's tummy as long as possible. This was my second pregnancy, and I was pleasantly surprised to find it was going extremely well and was very similar to my first... healthy all around with some heartburn being the main thing I could complain about. My weight gain and energy levels were soooo much better this pregnancy though, and I have my new healthy lifestyle to thank for that. As my due date came and went I found myself surprisingly at peace with the fact that I was still pregnant. I had already mentally prepared myself the entire pregnancy in case I went past my due date again, so the pressure of baby not arriving yet wasn't there as badly as it was with our first son Trever. The day before my due date and the day after, I decided to try acupuncture with Paul at Joint Venture Chiropractic to help my body prep for delivery. I found it to be very relaxing even though I hate needles! On Friday, June 16th, we went in for an ultrasound to see how Conner's overall health and growth were doing. He was absolutely perfect and there was no reason for concern. That evening, Dan's parents watched Trever so we could go on one last movie date to the theater. During the movie I was having a lot of discomfort, some contractions, but nothing to make me think a hospital trip was in the near future, although that night I didn't sleep very well. I was having a lot of discomfort in my lower back and Conner was extremely active, kicking & punching, as if to say he wanted out! I woke up Saturday morning, June 17th, and just felt... different. I couldn't put my finger on it, but it felt like something was going to happen soon. I made all three of us a delicious pancake breakfast & while sitting down to eat it Dan decided to text my mom to see if she would be willing to watch Trever while we ran some errands. He could tell I wasn't comfortable and felt it would be best if we ran errands without having to also take care of our toddler. While out running errands my contractions were occurring every 5-7 minutes apart, but never got so intense that I couldn't continue walking or talking. We decided to eat lunch at Sam's Club and that's when I had my first very strong contraction... it was very intense and definitely felt like what I remember contractions feeling like in the early parts of my labor with Trever. We went home where I proceeded to clean my whole kitchen and do the dishes. I was texting our doula, Amber, this whole time and she suggested I lay down and relax because she felt I was having a baby that night even though I l had my doubts! After an hour of laying on the couch while watching TV, I started to have more and more contractions but they weren't staying as consistent as I would have liked. Amber sent me the link to how to do the Mile's Circuit (a variety of positions to put your body in to position baby for birth). I did the first position for 30 minutes and my contractions began to get strong but were still 5 minutes apart. For the next half hour I did the second position and that's when my contractions got to the point where I had to breathe carefully through them. I have a very high pain tolerance so the contractions weren't painful at this point, just "intense". After Dan made us a delicious dinner, we went on a walk. We brought our dog Kota along, and almost instantly I was having contractions every 90 seconds to 2 minutes apart! It was now that I finally realized that we were going to need to head to the hospital soon. I was doubting myself before that but now it became all too real. I managed to take a hot shower when we got back to the house despite having contractions every 2 minutes. After my inlaws came by to pick up Kota to take to their house, we drove over to my parents house to bring Trever's overnight bag and give him kisses & hugs. This was the last time I was going to see my baby boy before he became a big brother and I was emotional over it! Our drive to the hospital was only 15 minutes so I called the hospital to let them know we were on our way and would like a room with a tub. When we arrived they were all ready for us and brought us straight to our room. After 20 minutes of monitoring baby and myself, I received a saline lock in my arm just in case I needed any fluids. I was checked and it was determined that I was 6cm dilated and 100% effaced!!! Conner was still in 0 station so we needed to get up and move around to help him drop. We were than given the okay to walk the halls. With each contraction I would stop, hold myself against the wall, and slightly squat to help Conner get into the ideal birthing position. When we got back to the room around 9pm I received a wireless monitoring system with bluetooth connection so I could get into the tub. In the tub I was still having some slight back labor but with each contraction I was able to relieve the pressure from the weightlessness of the water. Soon I was starting to feel a lot of pressure down yonder with each contraction, so Amber & Dan felt it was best for me to get out of the tub. Upon standing up, I began to shake uncontrollably and have contraction after contraction right on top of each other! I was in transition!! They quickly helped me dry off and walk to my bed... stopping to breath with each contraction. When I got into bed, the nurse instantly put me into the fire hydrant position (imagine me on my side with my left leg up in a stirrup as if I were a dog about to pee on a fire hydrant haha). The nurse checked me at 10:10pm and I was now 9cm dilated which was probably a conservative guess because she couldn't feel my cervix and baby's head was very very low! They told me the doctor was on her way and that I needed to wait to push. My doctor, Dr. Erika Schneider, was not on duty that weekend so instead I had Dr. Tracey Doyle as my on-call doctor rushing to the hospital. Later I found out she was stopped by a train at one point and was able to get around it in record time somehow! Within a few minutes of being in this position my water broke. I remember a huge relief of pressure but also a sense of panic when it broke because I instantly felt like I could start pushing but the doctor wasn't there yet! With each contraction coming one on top of another, there were times I almost forgot how to breathe because I was too focused on the sensation of the need to push. Amber & Dan massaged my back and legs and towards the end Dan got into champion coach mode, got in my face, and had me breathe exactly like him. We had three different types of breaths that while doing them, physically made it impossible for me to push. Dan was amazing!!!! He kept me encouraged and repeatedly told me how incredible I was and that he was so proud of me! I was about to have another baby y'all!!! At roughly 10:34pm, the doctor walked in and asked me if I was ready to push... YES, I was definitely ready! They had me hold my legs and on the first push I was a little hesitant because I was in shock that everything progressed this quickly and I was actually able to start pushing! Three pushes later at 10:41pm, I felt the ring of fire and Conner made his appearance! I did it!! I had gone into labor on my own and had another successful unmedicated birth and it was seriously the best experience I could have asked for! After an hour of skin to skin, delayed cord clamping, and a successful first feeding, they weighed him in at 8lb 11.2oz and 19.5 inches long. He was perfect! After I birthed the placenta, I once again had Amber save it to be dehydrated down into capsules to take as a postpartum recovery supplement. Since it was so late, only my parents were able to come to the hospital that night to meet the new little addition. The next day was Father's Day and what an unforgettable Father's Day it was! I am so thankful for my amazing supportive #birthsquad, Dan & our doula Amber! Also, so thankful to God for his protection and sense of peace during the entire pregnancy, labor & delivery.
Welcome to the world Conner! |
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