The Functional Mombie: Surviving Chronic Sleep Deprivation

Have you experienced the “mombie” (mom+zombie) state yet?  You’re so tired from lack of sleep that you feel only barely alive and functional, easily confused and unable to focus. You feel like all you do is feed the baby in the same spit-up stained t-shirt and yoga pants you've worn for two days--or is it three now? You can't find your phone and you can't remember when you actually ate a full meal, had more than three hours of consecutive sleep, or took a shower. Why is it that motherhood is synonymous with sleep loss?  There are actually two sets of circumstances surrounding the beginning of motherhood that seem to set the stage for being so dang tired: late pregnancy and early postpartum.

At the end of pregnancy, several factors culminate in prenatal insomnia.  You may find it difficult to get comfortable during the night.  When and if you do get comfortable enough to sleep, you may be disturbed by leg cramps, heartburn, baby kicks, or an increased need to urinate.  Additionally, you may find that once you’re settling in and powering down to sleep, your mind kicks into gear with all the nesting tasks you have left to complete and maybe even anxieties surrounding giving birth or those newborn weeks.

Baby is still used to being awake at random times in the darkness of your womb and isn’t accustomed to, or even capable of, sleeping for long stretches of time in the dark hours.  And if you’re worried about baby’s health and safety, that can also contribute to poor sleep quality."

Just after the birth of your baby, another set of circumstances emerges to cause the sleep deprivation for which early postpartum is so infamous.  The most obvious factor is your baby waking you up, needing to feed or have a diaper change.  This is partly due to your baby’s tiny stomach capacity and innate need to feed often, but it’s also due to the fact that your baby’s circadian rhythm (the sleep-wake cycle) hasn’t yet calibrated to match that of the other earthlings in your household.  Baby is still used to being awake at random times in the darkness of your womb and isn’t accustomed to, or even capable of, sleeping for long stretches of time in the dark hours.  And if you’re worried about baby’s health and safety, that can also contribute to poor sleep quality.

So, what can we do?  While knowing the causes of sleep loss can be helpful, let’s bridge the gap and cover some helpful tools. Some of these tools are in the category of prevention: keeping the causes of sleep loss at bay (or from occurring at all). Others are in the category of coping: acknowledging that “it is what it is” and taking some action to mitigate the effect of sleep loss.

Preventing and Coping with Sleep Loss:

• Stay in the normal energy flow of the day’s waking hours.  Morning is a natural time to gradually transition from the valley of overnight sleep to the peak of mid-day work and productivity.  As evening sets in, follow that natural flow by gradually transitioning your body and mind to prepare for rest. Here’s a link to my favorite evening practice.  
• If you can start to adopt simple morning and evening routines even before your baby comes, it’ll be that much easier to incorporate your baby into them.  Over time, these routines will also help your baby’s circadian rhythm to calibrate -- baby will gradually learn to sleep longer stretches at night while being more awake during the daylight hours.  (That’s got “built-in self-care” written all over it!)  Here’s a link to a helpful podcast.
• Don’t neglect your M&Ms.  (Womp-womp…I’m not actually suggesting you eat candy to cope.)  Melatonin and magnesium are two substances that heavily contribute to sleep quality and quantity.
• Melatonin is a hormone made in your body, in response to the light-dark cycle.  You can protect your natural melatonin production by avoiding the blue light of screens after dark.  Two ways to boost and encourage melatonin production are eating plenty of protein at breakfast and getting exposure to some sunshine throughout the day.  Listen to this podcast for more information and tips for improving your sleep and melatonin levels.  
• Magnesium is a mineral that you may have heard about, lately.  Generally, topical application is considered the most effective method for supplementing with magnesium.  You can apply a magnesium oil or lotion, or you can take a magnesium bath.  See this article for more information and resources regarding magnesium.  
• Take a nap -- but just a short one.  If you possibly can, lie down, close your eyes, and set yourself a 20-minute timer.  If you fall asleep, great!  Often that’s enough time to reboot your energy for another couple of hours.  Even if you don’t actually snooze, giving your mind a chance to switch to a different mode, one that’s not geared toward productivity, is healing and balancing.  Plus, this means that when you lie down to sleep at night, that won’t be the first time you’ve been alone with your thoughts.

I don’t suggest that you try all of these at once.  Which of them really appeal to you?  Give one or two a try, and see which tools bring you some relief in this challenging timeframe.